5/11 UPDATE: Updated the "Raven locks swayin" line and the "Room is polluted" line. Thanks to Rochelle and Anony for the corrections! Keep those comments coming (about changes to make)!
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Here are the lyrics. Comment any changes for us! It took me awhile to figure out that the female/drag reference was Erin Brokovich.
Enjoy!
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Clean version:
Explicit lyrics (YouTube version) at the bottom.
Jack Sparrow Lyrics
Extra:
Guys, Michael Bolton is here.
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Andy:
Great. Send him in.
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Bolton:
Hey guys. Really sorry I'm late. I just got caught up watching Pirates of the Caribbean marathon. Have you seen those things?
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Andy (and TLI):
Yeah, those are great.
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Bolton:
Well, I listened to your track, and I loved it. And I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you're going to really dig.
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Akiva:
Oh wow.
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Andy:
That's great. You want to just lay it down?
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Bolton:
Boys, let's get to it.
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Andy:
Here we go.
Lonely Island.
Michael Bolton.
The night starts now.
Together on the track.
The boys are back.
The night starts now.
Night starts now, baby roll with us. Chicks a snappin' at the neck when we rollin' up.
Cold flat doors ain't no holdin' up. Black car hit the bar, like I gives a ***.
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Jorma:
Looking so fly when we walk into the set.
F*** the fellas looking jealous, play the back and get wet.
In my waist, shake in my sock. Either get cut, get stuffed, or get shot. (This needs work.)
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Michael Bolton:
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow.
A pirate so brave, on the seven seas.
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Andy:
What?
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Bolton:
A mystical quest to the Isle of Tortuga.
Raven locks swayin', in the ocean's breeze!
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Akiva Schaffer:
Yeah, that was kinda weird but we back in the club. Buying up the bar so the groupies show us up.
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Bolton:
Kiera Knightly!
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Akiva:
Mother***in' iceman, I'm the top gunner. Heat our own blast, I'm the number one stunner.
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Bolton:
Jack Sparrow!
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Andy Samberg:
Watch it girl, cause I ain't your Mr. nice guy. More like the meet ya, take ya home, and f*** ya twice guy.
All dressed up with nowhere to run. I know I'll make ya go crazy with my gun.
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Michael Bolton:
Now back to the good part:
The day he was born, he yearned for adventure.
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Andy:
Nooo.
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Bolton:
Ol' Captain Jack
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Jorma:
Yeah...
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Bolton:
Giving them what for!
He's the corper of the surf, the jester of Tortuga. From Davy Jones' locker, what lies in store?
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Akiva:
Yeah, I've seen the movie.
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Andy:
Hands in the air and say hell yeah, C'mon.
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Michael:
Captain Jack...
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Andy:
What?
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Bolton:
Johnny Depp
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Andy:
No.
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Jorma:
From the front to the back, say we count stacks. Come on!
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Michael:
Davy Jones
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Jorma:
Nope.
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Bolton:
Giant squid.
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Jorma:
Wrong.
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Akiva:
Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up.
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Michael:
Roger that, lemme try with another film.
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Andy:
Wait!
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Bolton:
Life is a box of chocolates. And my name is Forrest Gump.
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Andy:
Not better.
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Bolton:
Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, I give Jenny all my love.
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Akiva:
Come on!
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Bolton:
Ok, then i'm a legal aid, Erin Brokovich is my name.
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Jorma:
Oh, *.
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Bolton:
Then you can call me Scarface. Snorting mountains of cocaine.
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Andy:
Close enough.
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Bolton:
You cockroaches wanna play rough?
OKAY! I'm reloaded!
This is the tale, of Tony Montana.
This is the tale!
Choke on a flame, with Miami nuts (this obviously isn't right).
Have an amazing wife; and this room is polluted. (not quite right)
This whole town's a p****, just waiting to get *!
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Andy:
It turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile.
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Bolton:
You complete me!
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Andy:
Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
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WARNING: Explicit lyrics versions...
That's it! Please leave comments with corrections! And...
Enjoy!
instead of wait this room is pulluted i heard i have an amazing wife and our home is polluted, but i dont think thats right lol
ReplyDeleteHere's andy on the today show
ReplyDeletehttp://www.tvsquad.com/2011/05/10/andy-samberg-breastfeeds-baby-today/
wait, the above link is wrong,
ReplyDeletethis is the right one. the full interview..
http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/2011/05/10/the-lonely-island-andy-samberg-breastfeeding-baby-doll-today-show-video/
As of currently right now ''Turtleneck and Chain'' is on the number one top spot the album list! I'm downloading the album right now as I speak. So happy its performing strongly! ;) XD Freakin' awesome.
ReplyDeleteOn the TLI website right now they have a huge list of articles and interviews talking about the new album and the link to the Today show interview with Andy!
ReplyDeleteHere's the link: http://thelonelyisland.blogspot.com/2011/05/turtleneck-chain-press-roundup.html
hahaha omg i almost died when i saw this on saturday.. oh wow this was hilarious
ReplyDeleteInstead of "Brave and not sway, on the ocean's breeze!" I'm pretty sure it's "Raven locks swayin' in the ocean breeze."
ReplyDeleteOK, has anybody seen the movie SCARFACE??
ReplyDelete1st Line is "Cubano Flame with Miami Nuts"
2nd Line: "Got a basehead wife, her womb is polluted.."
In the movie Michelle Pfeiffer was a coke addict and became sterile as a result. Tony told her those lines in a scne at a dinnertable.
Shall we make that "Keira Knightley"?
ReplyDeleteJeffrey,
ReplyDeleteSeen Scarface, but it's been awhile. See, that's why we asked you! Thanks!
Anony,
Good point about Keira. LOL
Made those changes. Thanks!
- TAE
Burner in my waist, shank in my sock. Either get cut, get stuffed, or get shot.
ReplyDeleteits not choke on the flame, its cubano flame,and its a basehead wife, but her womb is polluted
ReplyDeleteVery nice! Over seven million views the first week. Not too shabby.
ReplyDeleteHey, what's the girl's name with Andy @ 1:30 mark.
She's not too shabby either.
It's "shank in my sock", and "heater on blast." Also, "basehead wife" and "her womb is polluted."
ReplyDeleteIt's more like...
ReplyDelete"Chickens snapping at the neck when we rollin' up"
and
"Blew through the doors and no holdin' up. Black CARD at the bar like i gives a ****"
"three pounds in my waist, shank in my sock..." (that's what I was told)
and it's not "Swayin'in the ocean's breeze"...it's just "sway in the ocean breeze."
"..groupies show us love"
"Heater on blast"
"From the day he was born"
"he's the pauper of the surf"
and I don't think it's "from davy jones' locker" but in davy jones' locker.. "
And I think enough people told you about the whole Scarface thing
That last comment looks right but I think it's
ReplyDelete"Blew through the doors ain't no holdin' up"
GREAT SONG LOVE TLI!!!