Saturday, September 13, 2008

Andy Samberg's Lettuce - Transcript

Here is the transcript to Andy Samberg's Lettuce

Season 31: Episode 7: Dane Cook / James Blunt

An SNL Digital Short

.....Will Forte
.....Andy Samberg
Stranger in background.....Jorma Taccone

[ tag (over black screen): "An SNL Digital Short" ]

[ dissolve to exterior, apartment building. Pan down to stoop, where Andy sits glumly until Will appears from right and sits beside him ]

Will: Hey.

Andy: Hey.

Will: Got your message. So sorry.

Andy: Thanks. I just keep trying to tell myself he's in a better place, you know?

Will: You know, it's all right to feel sad. But the pain goes away. [ holds up a head of lettuce and takes a bite ]

Andy: Yeah. I just wish there was a way to make it go away faster. [ also holds up a lettuce and takes a bite ]

Will: I wish it would, too, bro. I wish it would, too. [ bites into his lettuce ]

Andy: Everytime the phone rings, I keep thinking it's going to be him, you know? And then I remember. [ bites into his lettuce ]

Will: It's okay. Let it out. [ bites into his lettuce ]

Andy: [ his mouth full of lettuce as he speaks ] I must look like such an idiot.

Will: Why? Because you care about something, and you're not afraid to show it? That's not an idiot. That's a hero.

Andy: What did I do to deserve you? [ bites into his lettuce ]

Will: You treated me like a friend. [ bites into his lettuce ]

Andy: I don't know what to say. [ bites into his lettuce ]

Will: Sometimes, you don't need to say anything.

[ they continue to bit into their heads of lettuce together, as a stranger walks past from the left, also biting into a head of lettuce ]

Announcer: Through good times and bad - lettuce.

[ cut to product graphic, with tag: "Paid for by the United Lettuce Growers Association" ]

[ fade ]



Popular Andy Samberg Posts - This Month

Tags (by frequency)

News_SNL_09 News_SNL_10 Images_07 Videos_FanMade_08 News_Web_09 News SNL 11 Videos_SNL_09-10 Videos SNL 2010-2011 Images_09 News_SNL_08 Videos_FanMade_09 Videos_Movies_07 Images_08 News_Web_08 Videos_FanMade_07 Videos_SNL_08-09 Videos SNL 2011-2012 News Movies 11 Photos 11 Videos_LonelyIsland News_Romance News_TV_09 MTV Movie Awards 09 News_Web_07 Videos_TV_09 Videos_Interviews_09 CD - Incredibad CD - Turtleneck and Chain Videos_SNL_07-08 Joanna Newsom Images_06 Audio Blog Updates News TV 11 Photos 10 Videos_SNL_06-07 Videos_TV_07 News_TV_10 Videos SNL Promos Videos_Live_07 Jorma Taccone Videos_SNL_05-06 News - Sitings 10 Text_Interviews_09 EDitorial_09 Ask Andy Samberg Blog EDitorial_08 News_Movies_07 News_Web_10 Movies - Donny's Boy MusicVideos_SNL News_Movies_08 News_Movies_10 Videos_TV_08 News_Movies_09 News_SNL_07 Text_Interviews_07 EDitorial_10 Videos Interviews 11 Featured Player Update Images_05 Products 09 Videos TV 11 Movies - I Hate You Dad News Web 11 Videos_Live_08 EDitorial 11 SNL Episodes 08-09 Akiva Schaffer Videos TV 10 Videos_Live_09 Digital Shorts 2010-2011 News - CDs Videos_Interviews_07 SNL Episodes 09-10 Videos_FanMade_06 News Sitings 11 News_Web_06 Hot Rod Images - Fan-Made Magazines MusicVideos_LonelyIsland Products 08 Videos Interviews 10 Digital Shorts 08-09 Digital Shorts 09-10 Text Interviews 11 Text_Interviews_08 Videos Web 11 Videos_Movies_08 Icons SNL Impressions Justin Timberlake Videogames Videos_Interviews_08 Digital Shorts 2011-2012 FAQ Videos_TV_06 EDitorial_07 News_CDs_09 News_SNL_06 Text Interviews 10 Videos Live 11 SNL Recap 07-08 Videos Weekend Update Videos_FanMade_10 Videos_Movies_09 Videos_TV_05 News SNL 12 SNL Statistics 08-09 Twitter Update thelonelyislandfan Animated GIF Classic Andy Comic Con 09 Drawings Images_04 SNL Recap 05-06 SNL Recap 08-09 SNL Recap 10-11 Videos - Justin Timberlake EDitorial 12 News TV 12 Studio News Videos Cold Open Videos_TV_04 Wallpapers Caption Andy Costumes Discussion Merchandise 11 Movies - Celeste and Jesse Forever News - Sitings 09 Products 10 Text_Interviews_06 Videos Fan-Made 11 Videos Movies 11 Videos_Live_06 Bill Hader Rokk Vodka SNL Lessons SNL Transcripts 08-09 Videos Movies 10 Videos_Live_10