Thursday, October 22, 2009

Mark writes the Taylor Swift monologue

So Mark takes a stab at writing the Taylor Swift monologue, concentrating on making fun of the Kanye West ordeal. I don't think he's far off. We've already talked about it here, and our ideas were very similar to this.

Read how close our comments were to this (very close):

Check out Mark's thoughts...

The most common joke in pop culture for the past few years revolves around "Saturday Night Live" not being funny anymore.

That's not true. There has been plenty to laugh at.

Although, this season hasn't exactly gotten off to rib-tickling start. A few good skits here and there, and solid "Weekend Update" performances, but as a whole, well, I haven't kept any episodes stored on the DVR.

However, I'm thinking that will change Nov. 7 when Taylor Swift hosts "Saturday Night Live." That has the potential for terrific work. The "SNL" writers won't have to work too hard to find comedic content for Swift.

They could just write a Kanye West interruption into every skit. That would be hilarious. Well, maybe not every skit but certainly three or four "I'mma let you finish" bits would make us laugh.

No way Swift makes it more than three sentences in her opening monologue before she gets Kanye'd. In fact, that should be her whole monologue. Heck, let's write it right now:

"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. I'm Taylor Swift and I'm sooooooo excited to be hosting 'Saturday Night Live.'"

Cue Alec Baldwin.

"Taylor, I'm really happy you're hosting 'Saturday Night Live' this week, and I'mma let you finish, but I'm the best host of the all time. The best host of all time!"

Cue Andy Samberg.

"Yeah, Taylor, I'm really happy for your T-Swizzle/T-Pain spoof at the CMT Awards, and I'mma let you finish, but I made one of the best digital shorts of all time! One of the best digital shorts of all time!"

Back to Swift.

"Anyway, Andy, last year I was a musical guest on the show and that was awesome. This year, I get to h . . . "

Cue Kenan Thompson.

"I'm really happy for your career success, and I'mma let you finish, Taylor, but my duet with Anna Faris was the best singing of last season! The best singing of last season!"

Back to Swift.

"Ummmm, Ooooookay, Kenan. So, last time I was in New York, I had a great time performing on top of a taxicab at Radio City. How many people my age can do that without getting arres . . . "

Cue to Kristen Wiig.

"Taylor, I'm really happy you're so young and successful, and I'mma let you finish, but I've been dancing on top of cabs for years and I'm the best of all time! The best of all time!"

Back to Swift.

"OK, Kristen. But have you ever won a VMA? I did. Of course, my chance to accept the VMA wasn't what I had planned, but . . . "

Cue Kanye West.

"Taylor, I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but I was one of the biggest jerks of all time that night! One of the biggest jerks of all time! So, seriously this time, I'mma let you finish."

That would be a win-win for everyone involved, including us consumers of pop culture.



I saw some similarities here to our conversation:

We were thinking the same opening interruption, and we also mentioned Alec Baldwin doing it. But we think Steve Martin could do it even better. Similar to how Steve Martin interrupted Tina Fey's monologue.

I like Mark's Andy Samberg line, but I think it could be even better if it was specific to just T-Payne, making fun of the fact that Andy and Taylor both tapped T-Payne to do mock raps. It's almost like a "T-Payne short" is a genre now. =^)

Andy Samberg:

"Yeah, Taylor, I'm really happy for your T-Pain video at the CMT Awards, and I'mma let you finish, but I made one of the best T-Payne digital shorts of all time! One of the best T-Payne shorts of all time!"

And maybe when Kristen Wiig gives her response, they can show a clip of her dancing on cabs and peoples' reactions around her. That would be pretty funny!



innaj87 said...

I really hope that Kanye shows up - he needs to make fun of himself, in a therapy kind of way:)..

Anonymous said...

OK- This person basically wrote an extended version of the comments I left on the previous blog discussion here. If there are a few of us thinking along the same lines- I hope this means SNL will deliver on similar notes. Them playing away from this and surprising us all will be nice and fresh, too!

Anonymous said...

Maybe this source used our brilliant thunder for its article! HAHA! I should go be a writer. HAHA! NOT! We might have hit a common tread, but I am not delusional to my non-existant writing talents, now as far as having blatant ESP, that might be more of a possibility. Or should I say ESPN?...

Ed Price said...


His post beat us by like 28 hours, so I think it's just great minds thinking alike. =^)


Anonymous said...

just in case- i hope you know i was teasing and having fun :)

Ed Price said...

Yes, understood. Thanks Anony!

- TAE said...

Oh my god, there's so much effective information above!

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